rethink the sandwich

As managers and leaders, how do we change the behavior of our people? We give feedback. If we're any good at giving feedback we know the "sandwich" model. The sandwich model states:

• Start with the bread: The bread is light and fluffy, highlighting the all the great work your employee does. 
• Then the meat: Identify the problem behaviors. Talk about specific examples of the problem behaviors. 
• Then finish with more bread: End on a high note. Talk about how their strengths can turn into strategies to improve the issues.

Let's go back to my first statement for a moment.

"As managers and leaders, how do we change the behavior of our people? We give feedback."

That is a little presumptuous though. We have two things being stated. On the one hand, we have the idea of "changing behavior", on the other, we have "giving feedback". Who says they are connected? This is what I know..

• Feedback helps people intelectualize behaviors.
• When we intelectualize things, it feels better.
• It feels like, if we just think hard enough we can change and be great.
• On the other hand...thinking about a behavior only lasts as long as our attention span.
• We might be dedicated to thinking about something for a day, a week, or maybe even if we're really good, a month.

So if not sandwiches, then what?! Believe it or not, we can learn something from drug addictions. Wait! Hear me out on this one...

When you study some of the most addictive behaviors, the behaviors that the people around the addict desperately want to change about them, you will find something very relatable to our situation. It doesn't matter how many times you beg, plead or give the BEST sandwich EVER. Behavior doesn't change until the addict decides for themselves that THEY are in fact committed to changing. So how do we take all this, make sense of it, and use it.

Here is my suggestion. Change the way we approach evaluations in the workplace and in organizations. As the leader or manager, hold off on that sandwich for a second. Follow these three steps:

Ask open ended, directed questions. The trick is to use the questions to inspire commitment from within. A commitment to who they are as a person or employee. Here are some questions, in my opinion, that can do this.

• What does success look like for you as an individual in your career?
• What inspires you?
• When was the last time you made a difference?
• What do you value?
• How do you hope to be perceived by those around you?

Sound motivational? It should, the technique is called "motivational interviewing". It's warm and fuzzy, but it works.

Listen, then continue to listen, and listen more. Listen. Part of you will want to share your hopes and dreams too. Part of you will want to comment on their responses. Don't. Just listen.

After they have identified success and personal values, its time to focus on asking the questions that will lead your staff to the answers you would have just told them anyway. When people can identify behaviors and strategies for themselves to get them where they want and need to be it turns into a personal commitment to changing their behavior.

If you have a staff member that is verbally abusive towards colleagues or abuses her power over others, you have probably tried giving feedback. But until they connect the problem to their own values, legacy and success they will not change. They will only intellectualize, reflect, and briefly change within their attention span.

Imagine revolutionizing the way we do evaluation meetings. Ditching the rubrics, likert scales and sandwiches, and sticking to...

Questions, Listen, Repeat

Bring the sandwich feedback method back into the picture when you have behaviors and strategies that they have personally committed to. Now you can dress your sandwich with phrases from the answers to your initial questions.

yum.